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The day of truth Journal intime créé par Silly Dragon

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Journal public


Préface
 The day of truth
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16   Nonsense
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19   That I shall go
20   Un grand sommeil noir
21   Circonstances exténuantes
22  short note
short note      page publique

So it happened anyway, took such proportions . So what? There was no hope anyway. It is now more obvious even, I am so far removed from their world that I wonder if it has any relevancy to stay here waiting and witnessing that dreadful succession of incomprehensible events. I no longer even understand, I am lost, left far from reality, so it comes back and hit me roughly at times, to keep me awake. ICH WILL SCHLAFFEN and be with her anyway, but this life has turned into a nonsense. I witness and cannot act, it is painful to live so, not having any easy means to flee once for all. This will come I expect, yet I need it now. I cannot wait any longer, or that will drive me sick, that is, mediocre and ridiculous as the father would be. No way. In or out. It no longer makes sense to beget hopes on any basis. I am very used to defeat, but this one is, of course, quite untimely, not now... NO HOPE. I shall no longer trust any such thing. Whenever I go in for such delusion anyway, it always ends up in doom. Some tough and sudden elemnt ruins it altogether instantly. Kill me for now, I sense well my mistakes were obvious. I hate myself as that sort of candid and clumsy person. Das ist nicht bequem. I must look for opportunities to die in some quiet way, if that can be quiet at the least. No puede ser. I must go before the end of this mean "play".